A couple of people have asked what we can do for people that already bought the ebook and would also like the physical version. That’s a fair question and I’m more than happy if that’s you and you buy a hard copy too, to then send you an additional copy free of charge.

Just order as normal and tell me you demand a free copy in the comments field! No fibbing though because I’ll check.

Each book sold helps us put another 10 into the hands of people that either couldn’t normally afford to buy one, or wouldn’t be exposed to such material, so every penny counts.

Nobody Is Motivated By Money

We talk in the book about the simply amazing stat that people who are paralyzed in a road traffic accident are no less happy after recovery than people who have won a 7 figure salary in the lottery.

Time and time again research has demonstrated that money doesn’t motivate people (other than in the immediate short-term) and it doesn’t make them happy. Granted, not having any at all and being faced with the problems that can cause is a great way to ensure misery, but that’s not the same thing at all.

One of the main reasons we take so much time in 'How To Be Rich and Happy' helping people to understand what's important to them in terms of their values, is because that way they can then set meaningful and motivating goals.

NOBODY is motivated by money, people are motivated by what they think money will give them and that usually means happiness.

So what stops you working out what makes you happy and then seeing how much money you need to do that? Isn’t that a more sensible option?

What stops you downsizing and taking a job you love for less money or going back to school to satisfy a life-long ambition to be a teacher or a nurse? How about pulling your 401K to start up your own business?

If that applies to you I'll tell you what stops you, it's fear. But what’s the reason for the fear?

It’s the erroneous and self-limiting belief that you cannot earn less money than you do now and yet be happier.

The reality is you can and I know because I’ve done it and I know plenty of other people that have too.

Not only can you earn less money and be happy, you can earn less money and be more motivated and energized. Doing things you love puts you’re in alignment with your values and that’s about as motivating and inspiring as life gets.

You have one crack at life, just one, so find out what makes you happy and then look for ways to afford to do it.

I was listening to one of the brilliant phone ins and have to confess having a chuckle or two to myself. It seemed all the Dallas fans that had been phoning in the week before to say how they were going to kill the Vikings were phoning in again to say how they felt like killing themselves.

If only they had to support the Rams for a year I thought, then they’d have something to whine about.

As I was driving along, one particular despondent and unhappy Cowboys fan came on the line. By the sound of it he was already throwing a rope over a high beam and I think it’s fair to say he was very, very pissed off.

At one point he said:

“This is an absolute disaster for the Cowboys”

I did a double take at the radio. A disaster? Really? What the hell does that make Haiti then?

Prior to our How To Be Rich and Happy teleseminar a week or so ago (and by the way we DID record it and will be posting it soon if you didn’t have time to call in), we sent out an e-mail asking people what questions they would like us to cover off.

One of the responses I received was:

“Is the correct use of language that important?”

I didn’t have time to answer it fully on the call although John made a valiant attempt. The fact is, I could have droned on for the entire hour and still not covered off all the bases of why language is not just important, but absolutely crucial.

You have a limited number of ways of making sense out of this world. Primarily you have you five most common senses of sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. As well as those and contrary to popular opinion, you have other senses such as sense of balance, space, temperature, pain etc and they will also sometimes come into play.

Having all these senses at your disposal is very cool and make sure you take them with you always, but you still rely heavily on just two most of the time, and they’re sight and sound.

If you are like the vast majority of us you’re having tens of thousands of thoughts per day. Most of these are not new or original thoughts, they’re just the same ones playing on a loop over and over again.

If you have a thought:

“Why am I such a jerk?”

What do you think will be the net result of that?

Well if it’s a one-off, probably not much at all really, especially if it’s said with a laugh and you’re not being serious. But what if that thought is going round in your head for months even years on end?

What do you think that will do to your self-esteem?

The first problem with that is you’re speaking as though it were a fact, when in reality it’s a belief because you’re not a jerk. Each time you have the thought you embed it just a little bit further and then a little bit further again.

Eventually you have said it so many times you literally cannot believe it’s not true.  I honestly have had clients trying to convince me that I'm wrong and they really are losers!

A rich and happy person would never ask such a question. Firstly, they set their own reality and in their reality they are definitely not a jerk. However, it goes deeper than that because the question is problem focused and also permanent.

What I mean by that is to follow that question to its natural conclusion you have to look for reasons as to why you’re a jerk. It doesn’t offer any other opportunities unless you want to start arguing with yourself and we all know you’ll not win that fight.

Rich and happy people use solution focused questions. Instead of saying “Why am I such a jerk?” they’d ask a question like “What can I do differently next time to make sure I do better?” Or they may even say something like, “I acted like a bit of a jerk there, but no worries I’ll learn from that and make sure it never happens again”

Can you see the huge difference?

This approach forces you to think of a solution rather than focus on the problem. Also by saying “I acted like a jerk”  you’re using a presupposition that you’re not really a jerk, you just slipped into jerkness for a moment or two. And let’s face it, we all do that from time to time.

If you have low self-esteem or confidence I guarantee you’re using poor disempowering language that is also probably very black and white in its outlook. I also guarantee you’ll be giving yourself few options to look for solutions, but plenty of opportunity to beat yourself up.

The Dallas fan that thought the loss to the Vikings was a complete disaster is probably going to take a very long time to get over something that in the great scheme of things isn’t that important. I have sat through enough sporting losses to know they always seem worse at the time than they really are.

I was being serious too when I said “What does that make Haiti?” Seriously, where is there to go from disaster? Maybe to catastrophe, but we’re exhausting our options.

If you start to link something so trivial like losing a football game to a natural disaster that has claimed the lives of tens of thousands of people you are in danger of losing a grip on reality and thoroughly confusing your unconscious mind into the bargain.

When you have setbacks and/or are feeling down, think of the language you use. Make sure it offers you every possibility to search for solutions. Also ensure it isn’t permanent. Little outside death and taxes (thanks Mark Twain) is permanent and your behavior certainly isn’t.

Rich and Happy people get the value of language in dictating their mood and so can you, if you don’t already that is.

If you take control of your language and by that I mean internally as well as externally, then you’ll take control of your life. It really is that simple.

I have actually done a couple of YouTube clips on this topic and you can check out out How To Feel Better About Yourself and How To Be Miserable by clicking the links.

It may or may not be a New Years resolution per se. In fact, it may not even be written down, but I bet there’s something specific you’d like to achieve or change in the new year, right?

It could be to quit smoking, lose a bit of weight, run a 10k race, spend more time with people that are important to you (hint: that probably isn’t your boss) or even starting your own business. I don’t need to be a mind reader to know I’m almost certainly right because the end of year causes a great many people to take stock, and at least temporarily, reflect on their life.

I applaud your desire to make improvements, but the sad fact is statistically speaking you’re almost certainly doomed to failure.  In fact, so much so, that the original title of this post was going to be ‘Why New Years Resolutions Fail’

I’ve seen many figures quoted as to how many people succeed in making lasting change with new years resolutions and it’s never more than about 5% and quite honestly, those odds stink.

Then I thought to myself, hang on a minute, I’m writing for people that are on a Rich and Happy journey here, these aren’t the kind of folks that care about the odds or what other people do. These are go-getters of the highest order and people who defy the odds, not conform to them.

Hence the rather more appealing title you see before you today and my complete conviction that you will succeed in the challenges you set for yourself.

There’s an old saying that goes “If nothing changes, nothing changes” and it perfectly describes the situation for most people when setting new years resolutions.

Trying harder to do something that has normally failed is not as likely to yield success. To make lasting change you need to do adopt a different approach and Rich and Happy people get that.

By following the advice in this post I guarantee you’ll exponentially increase your likelihood of achieving your goals in 2010 and what’s not to love about that?

By the way, there is no way I can cover all the bases in this one post. So where necessary I have linked through to specific posts that may be helpful to you.

Write It Down

As a Life Coach I’m almost embarrassed to be typing this. Almost, but not quite that is. Written goals are far more likely to come to fruition than goals that are just floating round your head. Trust me on this one, there is enough scientific data to make it unequivocal and a sound investment of your time.

If you can’t spare 45 to 60 minutes to sit down and write down what it is that’s important to you in your life, then it can’t be that important, can it? This is an essential stage that Rich and Happy people always commit to, so block out the time in your planner and just do it!

Setting goals should be fun and not a chore. This is the rest of your life you’re planning out here, if you can’t get excited about it then you really need to do some serious navel gazing and shoe staring.

If you need help setting good goals that are likely to work, then read The Ultimate Goal Setting Post.

Change Your Identity

If you see yourself as a smoker, how difficult do you think it will be to quit smoking? If you see yourself as a fat person just trying to lose a bit of weight, how testing and difficult will that be?

The ability to change your identity or more accurately, never get attached to any one identity is one of the most underrated skills possessed by Rich and Happy people. It’s also one that you can acquire if you really want to.

Your identity is not your job, it’s not your dress size, it’s not your kids, it’s not your friends and (fortunately for me) it’s not your favorite sports team. All of those contribute to who you are as a person, but that’s all they do, just contribute to the much greater whole.

If I lose the ability to hear tomorrow life coaching would be a tad tricky. In fact in the short-term it would be more or less impossible. That would be a real downer because I love what I do.

I also realize that it could be taken off me at a moments notice and therefore if I attach my identity to being a coach, what happens then? Do I lose my identity; do I have to build another one or am I just, albeit temporarily, a nobody?

Of course the answer to all those questions is no. I’m still the same person I was before. Ok, I now have the TV volume a tad on the high side and I’ve taken to shouting a lot, but I’m still me. That’s because my job can never equal my identity.

If you’re trying to change a behavior the single biggest thing you can do to ensure success is to change your identity. Using weight loss as an example. If you refuse to see yourself as a fat person, but concentrate all your efforts into believing you are by nature a slim person temporarily in a fat persons body, what effect do you think that will have?

All of a sudden your internal image is directly in conflict with the vision you’re seeing in the mirror. In your mind you’re a healthy weight and that sets up cognitive dissonance between what you see and what you believe about yourself. Fortunately your unconscious mind doesn’t like cognitive dissonance and it will go to work on your behalf to help you meet your internal picture.

If you transform your identity and the way you view yourself, making changes will be far easier because you’ll not spending all your energy on fighting your own belief system.

There are a number of things you can do to help such as being aware of the language you use to describe yourself to others and to yourself. In other words, make it positive and goal focused. Never put yourself down to others or more importantly to yourself because it sends the wrong message to your unconscious.

Learn to believe in yourself. You have created your current identity so you can change it any time you want, just as long as you want to and believe you can.

Visualize

If you have read How To Be Rich and Happy you’ll not only know visualization works, but better still, how it works ! This is not woo-woo stuff it’s a scientifically tried and trusted method of helping make permanent successful change.

The following sequence is a section that was originally going to be in How To Be Rich and Happy, but ended up on the cutting room floor. Even so it explains how visualization works

Imagine walking home from a new job one day. You suddenly realize there is a meadow of long grass you could use to cut 20 minutes off your walk. (If you live in New York, you're going to need a great imagination for this one.)

The first time few times you walk through the meadow, you can barely see which way you had walked the previous day. However, after 10 or 20 times passing through the field, you can clearly see a pathway starting to form. After 100 times all the grass is worn away.

Then one day there's a farmer with a shotgun and large dog waiting for you at the end of the path. Now, let's presume our gun-toting friend is a big softie and he allows you to use that route as long as you want. What are the odds that the next time you walk through the meadow, you take a slightly different direction? Slim to none would be my guess. After all, you know this path works and you have a lovely, easy trail to navigate. Why risk taking another way?

On the other hand, if Farmer Giles starts taking pot shots at you and sportingly lets the dog try to shoot you as well before releasing it to sink its gnashers into your rear end, then you'll probably find a new way home once released from hospital. You opt against reacquainting yourself with Fido.

The next time you walk home, you spot another meadow further along the road. The same process begins to occur. Only this time, the original path you created in the last meadow has started to grow back. That is pretty much what happens when we form thoughts in our mind.

The first time we have a new thought; it is a weakling that gets sand kicked in its face by stronger thoughts and beliefs. Each time you re-think the thought, though, it grows in strength as the physical pathway becomes better defined. Not only that, but if the new thought is a belief that contradicts one that you currently hold, the older belief starts to atrophy and die.

This helps explain why we tend to have the same thoughts repeatedly and why people often have difficulty snapping negative loops of thinking. The pathway is established. It's just easier than trying to think about something new to form a new connection in the brain.

Visualization is an incredibly successful and simple way of speeding up the process. It fools the unconscious into believing that you have already done something before you have done it.

Review

Writing down goals is brilliant. Reviewing them on a regular basis is even better. Your goals should be dynamic and never set in stone. Check in with them to inspire, invigorate and motivate yourself.

Reframe any negative thoughts and use the fact that you’re not doing as well as you’d like as feedback, because that is exactly what it is. Without feedback either negative or positive we’d never know when to make changes and what changes to make.

Try and review where you are at least once a month or even weekly. Don’t go nuts though and become obsessed with measuring every parameter in sight. You’ll have good days and you’ll have bad days, that’s just how it is and it’s the overall long-term trend that is all that matters.

Have Fun

Like life, goal setting should be fun. If it isn’t, you’re either not doing it right or your dead. Rich and Happy people know that the more fun they are having the better life gets. So make your goal setting fun. Maybe you could set family goals, blog about it or even have a goal setting evening in with friends?

I am in the process of working out my goals for the next year and if you ask nicely I may even share them with you. In fact, I may even share them with you if you don't ask at all

Happy Holidays!

Well, I am neither a famous singer or a famous songwriter, so walrus seems a bit grand for me.

For my next bunch of posts though-  I am the guinea pig.

Let me give you some background info so you know what to expect with what you’ll be reading about.

I am in the midst of conducting a Rich and Happy experiment.  And the test subject is... me.

Here’s how this came about.

Even though I’ve been researching, documenting and putting to use the Rich and Happy formula for almost two decades, there are definitely still times when I get myself out of synch.

For example, about three months ago I felt like I had let things get a little out of control in my life.  I liked the ways I was spending my time each day, and lots of exciting opportunities were coming up.  Yet somehow it felt like I wasn’t doing a particularly effective job of guiding my life.

Normally I like just being in the flow, as long as the flow is in alignment with my Big Five for Life, and logging me lots of Rich and Happy minutes.  In this instance though, something was telling me that I needed to take the tiller and become a bit more proactive about which stops I was choosing along the river of life.

So I sat down with a blank note-book, and wrote on the front- My Rich and Happy Goals/Dreams/Ideal Life.

I’ve done this many times before, and for whatever reason, it seemed like the right time to do it again.

One of the ideas that had been floating around in my head for almost two years was that I wanted to go study Spanish in an immersion program.  There were multiple reasons for this.  The first is that I love to travel.  As a matter of fact, travel the world is one of my Big Five for Life.

So hanging out in a Spanish speaking country for a while and going to language school sounded pretty good all by itself.  Then there would be the added benefit that since I love to travel, having a greater command of the Spanish language would open up the ease with which I could adventure through spanish speaking countries.  And there are a lot of those.

For example, I’ve done extended trips in Peru, Costa Rica, Panama, Mexico and Honduras, and they were great.  My only frustration was that although my Spanish language skills enabled me to cover the basics, it wasn’t nearly good enough to sit down and have a meaningful conversation with the people in those countries who only spoke Spanish.

And that just didn’t cut it, because I like meaningful conversations.  Especially when I have the chance to learn about the lives of people who live in cultures different from my own.

So that was one big reason.  The other was because I want my daughter to grow up speaking multiple languages.  Right now she gets English from her mom, me, and her environment, Chinese from her mom, and the occasional Spanish word from me.  Hardly the path to fluency for Spanish for her.  So me learning to speak Spanish more effectively would enable me to help her more.

So with notebook in hand I started writing.  And among the many items I wrote down, on page one I put- “I want to go learn Spanish in a 4 week immersion environment before my daughter turns 3.”

And there it was in black and white, or in this case, blue and white.  Just sitting out there waiting to become a reality.

In the How to be Rich and Happy book, we talk about how knowing what you want and writing it down has yielded amazing results for so many people.  There is, without a doubt, a certain power that comes from writing down what it is that you want to do, see, and experience in life.

I don’t know all the reasons it works.  It certainly keeps the items top of mind, so when opportunities arise, such as my re-scheduled engagement, you sort of already know what to do.

There’s also the group impact. Where when you write something down and tell others, then all kinds of people are pulling for you.

Then there also just seems to be an intangible element to it.  It’s like saying to the universe, “No, seriously, this is what I really want.”  So then the universe (insert God, Allah, Buddha, or your alternate preference for the word universe) kicks things into action to help make it happen.

Think of it like turning on the mac daddy of all OnStar systems.  Once you write down your desired state, the system kicks on and starts throwing the appropriate advise, resources, and opportunities your way.

Hey, it doesn’t really matter why it works.  The point is- it works.

And as it always has in the past, it worked again for me.  Two weeks after I wrote my intentions in my notebook, a client called and asked to reschedule a speaking event originally slated for the late fall. When I looked at my calendar I realized that because of the timing of the holidays, and some breaks I had scheduled in after the release of How to be Rich and Happy, that cancellation opened up a six week block of time.

When I told my wife about the schedule change, the first thing she said was, “Cool, let’s go to Costa Rica for the Spanish training you want to do.”

And that leads us right into the experiment.

I thought it might be useful to not only go through the experience of hanging out in Costa Rica for six weeks (It’s tough, but someone has to do it), but to also document the experience from the perspective of the Rich and Happy formula.  In other words, to be the participant as well as the observer to the experience of logging some major Rich and Happy minutes.

After all, while doing whatever you want, whenever you want can have a different look and feel for people depending on their interests, the challenges they face are often similar.

So just a few days into the experiment, here’s what I’ve faced, and what I’ve learned.

We arrived on a Thursday and by the time we drove across half of Costa Rica to where the school is, the day was pretty much shot.  Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were great.  The town where the school is located is right on the beach, very remote, not many people, and spectacularly beautiful.  Fits my ideal scenario of where to hang out for a while, which is a big reason we chose this location.

The place we are staying at will do perfect.  It’s really nice, and has enough creature comforts that I know my family has everything they need to enjoy their time while I’m in class.

The setting is excellent, the place is surrounded by jungle and we have seen monkeys and wild parrots right outside our windows at least twice per day.  The beaches are perfect for my little girl.  There are small shallow rivers for her to play in and tide pools to explore when the tide is low.

My commute to school literally is a 10 minute walk along the beach, including wading across a small river.  I stopped in the school during the weekend and it looked very nice and everyone was friendly.

So imagine my surprise, when about mid-day on Sunday I started to feel an emotion I haven’t felt in a long long time.  Something right in the neighborhood of trepidation and anxiety.

What the...?  Where in the world could that be coming from?  And why?  I’m in paradise on a six week vacation doing something that is right in the sweet spot of my ideal Rich and Happy life.

Why would I feel trepidation and anxiety?

Welcome to the world of values, beliefs, and lots of old code.

If you’ve read the value section in the How to be Rich and Happy book, you know how critical it is to understand your values.  They are at the core of who you are and when you are out of synch with them, it’s impossible to be logging Rich and Happy minutes.

If you’ve read the reviews on the book you’ve no doubt seen a lot of comments about the values section and how great it is.  Well, Tim, my co-author gets all the credit for that and I couldn’t agree more with the comments.  What he created is an excellent tool for deciphering a key piece of what it takes to be Rich and Happy.

And I’m glad he did because as I was experiencing those twinges of anxiety and trepidation I asked myself where the heck that was coming from and why?  And thanks to Tim’s value exercise, I had some great clues as to the answers.

One of my very top values is freedom.  Not surprising given that I’ve spent so much time   looking for the answer to how people get to spend their life doing whatever they want whenever they want.  Also not surprising given that I have created a life where I answer to no-one.

I left the traditional work-force almost a decade ago, I control my own schedule, I live on my terms, I teach and write about living your life, whatever that means to you, and I do everything possible to make sure I get to do whatever I want, whenever I want.

So imagine what just happened in my brain when it finally kicked in that for four weeks, four hours a day, every day, I am going to be on someone else’s schedule.

In addition to that, something else is starting to send massive warning bells through my system.  My previous formal training in learning Spanish was in high school.  Foreign language was a required subject for two semesters and so I took Spanish.  I would rate my overall high school experience to be poor, and my Spanish classes to be below that.

How I still remember this I have no idea, but for one semester my classmates and I had a very nice portly Jewish man from NYC who was teaching Spanish in a Catholic school, and who had never been to a Spanish speaking country.  I’m pretty sure he was about two pages ahead of us in the textbook.

The other semester we had a guy from Bolivia who had such a thick accent we couldn’t understand half of what he said.  I’m pretty sure he hated teaching and I do remember he had a general disdain for how lazy students were in America-  my classmates and I included.

Now to be fair, my overall goal with high school was to get through it and get the best grade possible for doing the least work possible.  And when it came to my Spanish classes they were just a necessary hurdle along the way to graduation.  At that time I saw no relevance at all as to why I needed to learn another language.

Regardless though, because of my previous experiences, my belief system about formal Spanish teaching consists of the following type of data:  boring, irrelevant, uninteresting, and often involves being harassed by authority figures.  A necessary evil that will occupy much of your time in ways other than you want to spend it.

Which means that when those beliefs are matched up with my high value of freedom,  my internal guidance system is starting to send out- what they heck are you thinking, and why oh why, are we going to re-enter formal Spanish training- types of signals.

Incredible isn’t it?  My rational mind is fully aware that what I am about to experience will be nothing like high school Spanish.  The school I will be attending got great reviews when I looked it up online, and everyone I’ve ever asked about immersion programs has always given them rave reviews both for the experiential elements as well as the impact on Spanish language competency.

Add on that that, I’m not a fifteen year old kid anymore who sees no relevance to learning a foreign language and doesn’t want to be in class.  I’m a seasoned traveler who WANTS to be fluent in Spanish, and who CHOSE to be in an immersion program.

That rational mind only has secondary data going for it though in terms of what this experience will be like.  And that secondary data is trying to compete with a belief system filled with old code that was written through first hand experience.

And thus the conflict.

If I wasn’t able to step back from the emotions and look at them from the position of an observer and analyst, I bet the emotions would be out of control right about now.  Perhaps so out of control that I would either be second guessing my decision to attend school again, or in a worst case, I’d completely talk myself out of it and bail on the idea.

I might walk away from six weeks in paradise spent logging an almost constant stream of Rich and Happy minutes.  All because of beliefs and code written in my brain a quarter century ago and the resultant values conflict they cause with my current state.

I can see that this is going to be a very interesting experiment.

More to come in the weeks ahead.

John.

Repeat process multiple times per day.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason e-mail, and quite frankly all other message delivering devices have become such an addiction is because everyone is hoping to one day check their e-mail and get the message that they don’t need to check their e-mail anymore.

That’s really the driving force for why people keep at it.  A hope driven behavior tied into the very real belief that a better life is out there waiting for them. If only someone would give the OK to go live it.

So here it is.  OK, go live it.

One of the very real and very powerful components I’ve documented while researching people who have become Rich and Happy is they are masters in the art of quitting.

The incredible time wasting behaviors that email can generate are a perfect opportunity to put that quitting skill to work.

For just one day, try this.  Quit making yourself instantly available.  Let the e-mails, voice-mails, text messages, all of it-  come in and sit there.  And instead of giving those your instant attention, focus your time and energy on doing whatever you want, whenever you want (the definition of Rich and Happy).

I would encourage you to do this for longer than a day, but this can be such a huge transition for people that let’s start really small and build from there.

Here’s why this is so powerful as it relates to being Rich and Happy.

Most people not only allow their constant influx of messages to dictate what they focus their time and energy on, they are actually lost without them.  In the absence of someone else telling them what to do “Right Now”, people take on a dazed, confused, somewhat lost look.

Then they quickly check their email again.  Am I free yet?  Or has someone told me what to do yet?

Most people who tell me they WANT to be Rich and Happy go on to tell me:

They have no clue what living a Rich and Happy life would look and feel like for them. They are so busy every day that they have no time to figure that out.

Well here’s the thing.

If you don’t know what makes you Rich and Happy, you can’t be Rich and Happy.

If you know, but never spend time on those things, you won’t be Rich and Happy.

If you continue to be a mindless lemming to your inbox, you definitely won’t be Rich and Happy.

So take one day this week and quit answering your email.  Just one day.  I promise, after that you can get right back on it.

Take all that time you would be spending on doing all those things for other people, and instead - spend the time on YOU!  Figure out just one thing you’d love to learn more about, or want to go do, see, or experience.

That way, the next time you check your inbox and find yourself waiting for the next urgent call to action, you’ll have a Rich and Happy activity to put your energy toward.

I promise that the world can make it one day without your immediate response.

For years I swore that couldn’t be the case.  That’s why for years I wasn’t Rich and Happy.

NOTE: We will be running monthly teleseminars exclusive for people that have bought How To Be Rich and Happy or read this blog starting in either late November or early December. In the calls we will be covering off any topics that people may be struggling with on their journey to be Rich and Happy.

We’re also looking to run interviews with people that lead the Rich and Happy life to get tips from them. If you have anybody you’d like us to interview or questions you’d like either myself or John to cover off, please let us know either in the comments or e-mailing tim at howtoberichandhappy dot com

By the way, we have finally got our subscribe by e-mail button working and we'd love to have you as a subscriber via either RSS or e-mail. If you'd like to get our weekly updates simply click here for e-mail or here for RSS.

Even though we have probably never have met, I don’t know anything about your life and I don’t spend all day staring into crystal balls whilst cackling manically, I still know.

And the reason I know what it is for you, is because it’s the same thing for everybody. It doesn’t matter what your upbringing was like, what nationality you are, how old you are, whether you are gay or straight, religious or atheist, democrat or republican, Coke or Pepsi, I still know.

There can only ever be one thing in your way if you think about it.

What do you think it is?

Now knowing your values maybe? How about lacking commitment? Not being lucky enough? Being too lazy? Having a terrible job that you just can’t leave because you need the money?

Of course it’s none of those things as I am sure you well know even though they all play their part to a greater or lesser extent.

The real reason you’re not as successful as you'd like to be is purely and simply because of your belief system.

I’m not totally sure which specific belief it is that stops you hitting the heights you'd like to achieve, but I do know for certain there is one lurking in the background, or in the some cases stomping around strutting its stuff in the foreground.

It maybe the belief that it’s simply not possible for somebody like you to be Rich and Happy or you don’t deserve it, or even that it’s too late in life to achieve your dreams. Or it could be you don't think your smart enough or brave enough or good looking enough?

You may not even know what it is, it may be squirreled away in a secret corner sabotaging your attempts to be successful in a multitude of ingenious ways.

Worse still, it will probably be in disguise. Shocking though it may seem, when you stop to question the little fella, he may even vehemently deny being a limiting belief.

He’ll sound incredibly plausible and have all the relevant paperwork documenting that he’s a ‘Fact’ and not a belief, but don’t trust him, he’s lying. He’s lying to you now, like he has always lied to you. He doesn’t even know how to tell the truth. In fact he can’t even remember what the truth sounds, looks or feels like.

Now before you take a baseball bat to him and bludgeon him into oblivion, let’s take a deep breath and a step back for a moment.

Consider this. Although he’s holding you back and stopping you living the life of your dreams, he’s not doing it because he hates you. In fact, it’s just the opposite. He’s doing it because he really, really loves you.

He’s there to protect you. He thinks if he convinces you to play things safe you’ll never be disappointed. After all, how can anybody be disappointed about not achieving something they never attempted in the first place?

You seldom hear people say, “Wow I’m so disappointed I didn’t get that job I never applied for” or “What a bummer I didn’t win that competition I never entered”

Those kinds of regrets are usually stored up until much later in life when it really is too late.

So how about you say thanks to him or her? How about you put your arm round his shoulder and tell him how appreciative you are? It's not him we want to attack, it's the belief itself.

Remember he is part of you and you can’t win an argument with yourself because part of you has to lose. This is a time for compromise, this is a time to talk things through and look for alternate ways to reach your dreams. So right here and right now, thank yourself. I'm serious, just say 'thanks' because you are doing the best you can.

A huge part of the Rich and Happy formula is to understand your beliefs are not facts. It is possibly THE biggest difference between Rich and Happy people and the rest of the population.

Successful people don’t adopt hand me down beliefs just because they can. They analyze each belief to see if it helps them. If it doesn’t they discard it and get a better one.

During the late 1950’s when the PGA wasn’t quite the force it is today, many golfers would room together at tournaments to save on cash. At the time the great South African golfer, Gary Player fell into the bracket of those sharing a room.

One day after a tournament in the north of the country in which he was doing really well, Player walked into his room and announced to his roomie “I absolutely love this northern Bent grass, it’s my favorite to putt on” His friend muttered something about not caring for it and Player went on to win the competition.

Two weeks later and the guys were playing in Florida and Player was once again performing well. After the third day with Player near the top of the leader board he strolled into his room and confidently announced “I absolutely love this Bermuda Grass, it’s my favorite to putt on”

“Wait a minute” said his friend “You can’t have it both ways, you said a while ago you preferred bentgrass”

“I can have it any way I want it” said Player, “I decide what I want to believe”

There are a great many people that would have thought he was being ridiculous and unrealistic. Unfortunately, we don’t know their names because they never hit the heights Player did because they were too busy clinging on to and defending their version of reality.

Make no mistake, that is what your beliefs are, your VERSION of reality, they're not reality itself.

YOU decide what you believe in and what is possible for you and you have two choices. You can let your belief system build by default, like the majority of people, or you can craft and design your beliefs to support you, a bit like Rich and Happy people do.

The Rich and Happy manual takes you through the process of how you do this, but you have to really want to take control and you have to put a bit of effort in. Neither myself, John nor anybody else can do this for you, only you can do this.

As  Johnny B Truant so brilliantly put it in this review of the book:

"You wouldn’t buy a book called How to Make a Pie, read it, declare, “That was interesting,” set it aside, and then get all mad the next morning when no pie appeared on your window sill. Most people understand that if you want pie, YOU HAVE TO ACTUALLY BAKE THE ####### PIE."

So what are you waiting for? It's time to get baking.