In the exceptional book Authentic Happiness, Martin Seligman talks about an exercise designed to move us into a sense of gratitude which in turn leads to feeling happier. Seligman suggests that every now and then we should say thanks to people we are grateful for, but may not know of our gratitude.

What a cool Rich and Happy trick that is, don’t you think?

I’m going to thank somebody in this post that I’m not sure if I have ever thanked properly before. It’s somebody that probably doesn’t even know the positive effect he had on me as he isn’t a close friend and I’ve never even met him.

About 6 years ago I was just getting into Life Coaching and the realization that I may leave sales and move into full time coaching was starting to crystallize.

At the time I was working for a huge sales organization and to say we were constantly under the cosh and morale was low would be a gross understatement. As a way of trying to feel better about what the situation I was in I’d stopped listening to the news on my journeys all over the UK and started playing self development cd’s instead.

One of the cd’s in question was a live performance by Michael Heppell of his book ‘How To Be Brilliant’.

I loved his message of being the best you can and always offering the best you can to the people you serve, and I loved it even more because I was laughing along with him for much of the 60 minutes.

One of Michael's suggestions was when somebody asks us how we are, rather than replying with the normal “Not bad” or “Can’t complain” we say “I’m brilliant!” and see what the response is.

I ran this idea past a close friend of mine at work and we decided to do this for a month to see what happened.

The results were amazing.

Whenever we were asked in the office how we were doing we responded with “Brilliant” and then shot the person a big cheesy grin. This nearly always resulted in one of two responses.

Response 1: These people tended to be highly suspicious and asked questions like “What have you got to be brilliant about?”

It was almost as if they were frightened they were missing out on something, that we knew something they didn’t. They’d usually wonder off muttering to themselves about us not taking things seriously and looking for other people to confirm their belief that life really is as crap as they suspected.

Response 2: - This was the flip side and the really cool bit. Many people would immediately break out in a big grin and very often start laughing for no reason too. It was almost as if we had given them permission to be happy. As though prior to that there had been some unwritten rule that fun was to be checked at the door when arriving at the office in the morning.

Some of these people even picked up and ran with the idea themselves and it wasn’t long before one half of the office thought the other half was mental!

About 3 years ago just prior to  ‘Don’t Ask Stupid Questions’ being published I contacted Michael to ask for some blurb I could use to promote it. He was one of only 2 people that I would consider ‘famous’ from a total of about 20 that even bothered to respond (the other by the way was another great British speaker, Steve McDermott).

Since then I’ve had contact with Michael on a number of things, not least of which is the testimonial he gave us for the launch of How To Be Rich and Happy. I’ve even had a chat via Skype when he graciously offered me his time and experience on publishing matters.

So today I want to use Seligman’s 'Rich and Happy' trick and say a huge thanks to Michael Heppell. I’m extremely grateful I bought How To Be Brilliant and it's possibly that without it, I may never have turned to coaching. I’m even more grateful to now consider Michael a friend and one day I might even buy him a beer if he gets his lazy ass to Florida.

Who are you grateful for that maybe doesn’t quite realize it? What about telling them right here and right now? If that’s not practical, pick the phone up or write a letter safe in the knowledge that you’ll feel better, and so will they.

If the answer is yes, then good for you because you’re well on the way to being Rich and Happy. Pat yourself on the back and give yourself the afternoon off to fine tune your script with an even happier ending than the one you were planning, you deserve it. Well done!

If on the other hand the answer was no, then boo hiss and other such matinee type catcalls because you sir (or madam) would benefit by a radical shift in your thinking.

You probably believe that you need to work all the hours under the sun to be successful and use phrases like ‘live ain’t easy’ or ‘hard work never killed anybody’ Well that last one isn’t totally true, in fact it’s probably killed millions prematurely, but I’m not here today to discuss that.

Stop for a moment and think of yourself as being the hero in an epic Rich and Happy story. Really see yourself as that person you have always wanted to be. See what you'd see, hear what you'd hear and feel how it would really be to be Rich and Happy.

Do you think to have got there you'd have done things a little bit differently? Would you have taken a few more risks, followed a few more dreams and laugh in the face of fear a little more often?

Yeh of course you would, because you’re a hero!

You’d be one of the few people that really could have 'My Way' played at their funeral without everybody rolling their eyes and smirking. You’d not stop from asking that beauty (or hunk) for the last dance, you’d not take any crap from the boss that treats you with contempt, and you’d not spend half your life wishing you were somewhere else, with somebody else, doing something else.

You’re a hero and you’d live your life like one too.

So what stops you?

Life really is a story you know. It can be written any way you want to write it. The rules of your story are the ones that you want to abide by.

Ok, you may have been given a template to start with by family, friends and peers and they may be expecting you to do things in a certain way, but people probably expected Walt Disney, George Washington, Martin Luther King, Richard Branson, Gandhi and thousands of other mould breakers, trend setters and great leaders to do things in a certain way. Fortunately though, they knew they could change their story and change it they did.

If you like your life story, that’s cool stick with it, but if you don’t, change it. There’ll always be enough people telling you that it can’t be done, but that just makes it so much more fun when you show them that they are wrong and you are a hero!

So instead of Mr Strelecky you have a post from me with a quick down and dirty look at techniques that if you can incorporate into your life, will make you feel Rich and Happy!

1. Align With Your Values

Unless you know what your core values are you will struggle with blocks in your life. All your decisions are based around your values and what you consider imperative to your life and Rich and Happy people get this.

For example, if you have a number one value of integrity and work for a business that rips off its customers (even if you are not involved in the actual process) then you will feel uncomfortable either consciously or unconsciously.

There are also away from values, things that you move away from at all costs and again you should know what these are as they can frequently be the reason why you just can’t follow through with somethings no matter how hard you try.

2. Happiness is Internal

Chase money, possessions, titles as much as you want, but realize that they wont bring you happiness. You already have that if you can be bothered to dig around and look for it.  Being in complete alignment with your values will help you find happiness.

3. Beliefs Aren’t Real

Your belief system is something that you’ve built up over your life. It comes from your parents, your friends, your colleagues and many other sources. It is evolving and changing all the time.

You probably believe in the tooth fairy, but somebody told me only last week, she really doesn’t exist. Disappointing though that is, especially as I have been stock piling my new puppies teeth for a big payday, we just have to accept reality and change the belief.

What false beliefs about your abilities are you holding onto that are holding you back? When you know they are, undermine them, look for counter examples and replace them with more empowering beliefs. After all, if you think you can, you probably can.

4. It's Only YOUR Map

This is a presupposition of NLP and critical to understanding and making changes. Just because you view something one way doesn’t make it so.  Everybody has his or her own map and theirs is just as accurate as yours. Adopting that one belief will remove conflict from your life.

5. Step Back

If in moments of introspection you can take a step back and view your life or any given situation from a watchers point of view you will often see things that you can’t see from your angle. It can also be useful to take the 2nd person position, which involves seeing you through the eyes of the person you are talking to or involved with. Most people resist this especially when coming under attack, be different.

6. Write It Down

Whether it is goals or simply ideas you have on trying to improve your life put them on paper. The sheer act of writing something down sends a message to the unconscious mind that you are serious about what you are doing that it need to get to work on bridging the gap between where you are now and where you want to go. Not only that but it frees up that memory hungry part of your brain called the pre-frontal cortex and allows you to use it for planning your Rich and Happy journey.

7. Every Action Has a Positive Intention

This is another NLP presupposition. Even when you do what sometimes seem like ridiculous things there is always a positive intent behind it. It may take some digging to get to it but it is there. Taking smoking as an example. It can seem self-destructive and often smokers that want to quit will refuse to see the benefits, but they are there. By accepting that your actions are not there to harm you (even self-harm fits into this category) you are infinitely more likely to be able to make changes

8. Model

If you want to be Rich and Happy, look for Rich and Happy people and copy them. This is how children learn to speak and it is how we get good at something quickly. Too many people are frightened of asking for help because they think it makes them look weak. In my not so humble opinion, not asking for help makes you look stupid.

9. Make Mistakes

Mistakes are feedback, they are nature’s way of telling us we need to adjust to take stock and reconsider. They do not mean we are failure as a person just that we failed at a task. Relish mistakes, hug them, caress them and thank them for dropping by because they are helping you to learn.

10. Be Kind To Yourself

This is so important to get a handle on. There really is no need ever to beat yourself up, be kind to yourself like you would a loved one. We all make mistakes, even the super successful make mistakes, try and learn from them and move on. Too many people seem to be great at beating themselves up and terrible at praising themselves. Give yourself some credit from time to time, you deserve it!

Rich and Happy Update

We just wanted to say a massive thanks to those of you that have bought the book, donated money and time and helped us spread the word because last week we blew through the $50k mark of books given to good causes. We couldn't have done it without you!

One of the adjustments I have made is to forget e-mailing people with offers of help.

To my mind this seemed the most obvious plan of action. Send a charity an e-mail offering free books and then sit back and wait for the enthusiastic and grateful responses to come flooding in.

After all, who doesn’t want something for nothing, right? Well apparently lots of people, because at least 4 out of 5 e-mails I’ve sent out have gone unanswered.

It would seem the sheer intensity and volume of scam e-mails usually starting “Dearly Beloved” and emanating from Nigeria has made people somewhat skeptical of any correspondence that offers something for nothing.

To be fair to John, he has said from the word go that it will come down to personal relationships and so it is proving to be. Now I’m calling the charities and speaking to real people and it’s definitely making a positive difference although I think more face-to-face meetings are needed.

One of the personal relationships came about when John spoke to a lady by the name of Sandy Geroux. Like John, Sandy does a lot of public speaking and she is also involved in a lot of charity work.

When John told her about the Rich and Happy giveaway she jumped at the chance to help us put the books into the right peoples hand.

I got a call from John excitedly saying he had good news and that Sandy wanted 50 books as soon as possible. Ok, that is fairly good news I thought, but come on man I’m not sure it’s worth getting quite so pumped up about as it’s not even a full case.

It seems I misheard him because he’d actually said 750 books and that definitely was something worth getting pumped up about.

Last Friday I loaded the books into my car and set off to the Children's Advocacy Center for Osceola County in Kissimmee to meet Sandy.

If you’re as unaware as I was to the role of an advocacy center, here is how it is described on their website.

The purpose of a Children’s Advocacy Center (CAC) is to provide services to children and non-offending family members that are victims of child sexual and physical abuse. CAC’s use a multi-disciplinary approach coordinating law enforcement, child protective services, prosecution, mental health, medical personnel and victim advocacy to provide the most comprehensive services available so that children are not re-victimized by the very system in place to protect them.

A Children’s Advocacy Center provides a comfortable child friendly atmosphere where the child can feel safe and staff are specially trained to deal with the issues of child victimization.

Prior to the center kids would be taken to a hospital that was ill-equipped to deal with such specific problems and this would often exacerbate an already terrible situation.

Sandy gave me a tour of the facility that was both eye-opening and incredibly sad. If you have ever seen a medical examination table that looks like a polar bear like the one above, you’ll know what I mean. Knowing that the only reason this place exists is because adults are prepared to abuse children didn’t leave me feeling too great.

One of the statistics that Sandy gave me that I found most shocking was that 1 in 4 girls will be either physically or sexually abused before they reach 18 years of age, and 1 in 6 boys.

Most of the money to fund the center comes from fund raising and they like a great many such organizations have been hit hard by the recession as donations have dried up.

The double whammy is that as donations went south, abuse went in the opposite direction. When times are bad and stress is high it seems the victims are often not just the adults, but the kids that get in the way.

It was a bitter sweet day. It was great to help such a worthy cause (and by the way, the real help has come from the hundreds of people that have  bought the book, I just delivered them), but it was also sad that they are needed.

Copies will be going to the non-accused guardian to help with education, to the kids that are at the older end of the age range and also some other charities that Sandy is involved in. Hopefully they can help people realize that things can be different, if we believe they can.

We are down to the last 1,000 or so of the first print run and we expect these to be either donated or sold by the end of next month. If you want a first edition copy, go get one now! Or alternatively, if you know a charity that would benefit from receiving a case or more of books, please let us know.

Her remarks caused me to slowly stroke my chin whilst gazing at my naval for some time. I then went and sat in a darkened room for 8 hours to conduct some serious soul searching as to whether I’d been a very naughty boy.

After some deep reflection and a brief nap I came to a profoundly shocking realization.

She was wrong!

My reality (and that’s all I can ever offer you by the way) is that I take life as as seriously as it needs to be taken, which is not very.

I had a strong urge to phone Eckert Tolle and tell him to come and help because my ego was running amok, but my ego wouldn’t let me, it insisted I tell the whole world (or at least the good readers of the How To Be Rich and Happy blog) about this somewhat startling revelation.

The last I heard everybody ends up dead and it doesn’t matter whether they take what happens prior to that seriously or not. It’s a bummer of a script that you can't ‘serious’ yourself to a longer life, but that’s just the way it is and I’m afraid we’re going to have to live (and die) by it.

I am going to give you a massive Rich and Happy trick now, one I frequently use with life coaching clients because of its awesome power.

To change your behavior you have to change your state.

With the possible exception of intense fear which I never recommend to my clients, what do you think the biggest state changer known to the human race is?

That’s right, it’s laughter.

Have you ever been in the middle of an argument and the other person has started laughing? Presuming they’re not laughing at you, what did you do? I’ll wager a tidy amount that you started laughing too or at the very least softened your outlook.

The reason being, laughter is more contagious than Swine Flu and definitely a lot better for you. It improves mood, aids the immune system, reduces pain and absolutely obliterates stress. If you don't believe me try and feel stressed whilst your laughing out loud and you’ll find you can’t.

In Rich and Happy we talk about having a laughter list. This can be either a literal list that you carry with you at all times or a mental list that you can recall at will. On that list should be a number of things (between 5 and 10) that are GUARANTEED to make you laugh.

Then when you start to take yourself or even life a tad too seriously or you are just feeling stressed, you ‘look’ at your list and give yourself permission to laugh off that stress.

Now I do realize that there are occasions when it won’t be appropriate, but they are far fewer than you think.

Rarely if you start laughing will people not laugh with you even if they haven’t got a clue what you’re laughing at. The reason for that is, when you laugh you give other people permission to laugh too.

Isn’t that a cool thing? That by laughing, you make yourself feel better and give the rest of the world permission to feel better too?

This always makes me laugh from a classic old UK TV series, I'd love to know what's on your laughter list?

Since she wrote it things have taken a turn for the worse for homeless people here in Orlando. The local government are currently trying to make it illegal for charitable groups to feed the homeless in Lake Eola Park.

Complaints by local people and businesses has meant that the City Council has gone back to the law courts in an attempt to be able to enforce a law passed in 2006. The law forbids the feeding of more than 25 people in the city parks without a permit. Not so bad you may think, until that is you realize that no organization can be granted a permit more than twice in any one year.

We will let you judge what you think of that, but needless to say it doesn't really fit the How To Be Rich and Happy outlook.

Homeless Does Not Equal Hopeless

I recently volunteered for a local organization that helps collect and donate food to the homeless. It was an amazing experience and a wonderful life lesson.

It was through this organization and my work here that I was able to meet and connect with Steve. Steve is one of many homeless adults struggling to survive on the streets. Steve became homeless just a few years ago after losing his job and subsequently the apartment he was renting.

At first when I tried speaking with some of the homeless adults who had come for food, I did not get much of a response. I was trying to get to know some of them, pass out some food and pass along a few copies of “How To Be Rich and Happy” as well. While everyone was taking the food I was offering, I could not get anyone to take the book. Then Steve came along.

Steve came over to me and asked flat out why I was trying to give homeless people books. I explained that this book is a powerful tool that can help people change their lives for the better. I explained the million-book giveaway project the authors John P. Strelecky and Tim Brownson are working on. I went on to say there is a list of people that the authors are hoping to target as people to receive the books being given away, and that homeless people are one of those target populations.

Steve then asked me, “Why?”. I began to explain that the authors believe that this book can help people who are currently homeless because it can teach them how to take control of their lives and their own happiness, and how to improve their situation. Steve responded that is not what he meant. He clarified that he meant why do the authors care about what happens to the homeless population?

Steve told me that while this local organization does a very nice thing by feeding him every week, that is it for him. That as a homeless man he is stereotyped, labeled and treated with no respect. He stated that because he is homeless, people are afraid of him and don’t even want to speak with him let alone help him improve his situation. He said that it is like this for every homeless person struggling to survive right now.

He said the reason I could not get people to take copies of the books was because they did not trust me. He advised that they could not believe that someone would care enough to try and help them so they did not trust that I did not have some sort of ulterior motive in giving them the books.

As we were talking, I noticed something happening. Some of the other people who were there and initially did not want to speak with me began coming closer and listening to what we saying.  They began asking questions about the authors, the book and the give away. Some even took copies of the books! Steve assured me that if I continued to come back week after week, I would be able to build relationships with these people and give away even more books.

The lesson that I took away from that day was that homeless does not equal hopeless.

Homeless people are human beings. While it is important to feed them and help house them, it is just as important to get to know them as people. Steve taught me that just like you and I, homeless people have wants and needs, hopes and dreams and if given the chance and the right tools they just may be able to achieve some of those.

Why do you think that is?

The reason is actually very simple and it’s that De Niro never saw himself as a fat and lazy guy. His identity would have been a slim or athletic person that was carrying a little excess baggage for a short period of time.

There would have been no concern about losing it and no conversations about trying to get back to his normal weight. It would be a done deal before he started and simply a matter of when, rather than if.

If you are British you’ll probably be familiar with the name, Daley Thompson.

Daley is one of the greatest British Olympians of all time and was at various times European, Commonwealth, World and Olympic champion in a real man-killer of an event, the decathlon. He went undefeated for almost a decade in major competitions and was beloved by the British public for his gutsy performances and bubbly personality.

Toward the end of his career he sustained a serious injury that prevented him taking part in any serious competition in the lead up to the Olympic Games in Seoul, and when he had competed his form was obviously well below what was expected of him.

The selection committee let it be known that he was in serious danger of being dropped from the team if he didn’t prove both his fitness and his form. Thompson’s response was to turn up at the final event before selection wearing a t-shirt in the warm up period that read:

"Form is Temporary - Class is Permanent"

Thompson knew how good he was and knew that a temporary blip didn’t simply cast 10 years of world class performing out of the window. He still believed he was the best in the world, which is exactly what he needed to believe if he was to get fit and compete at that level.

The reality is he did get picked (mainly because we didn’t have anybody better than even a half fit Thompson) and managed to finish in fourth place which bearing in mind what he had gone through was incredible.

Being Rich and Happy isn’t a temporary condition it’s a state of mind, a way of living that anybody, including you, can have. If that is, you believe you can.

If you think Rich and Happy is a destination, it's doubtful you'll ever arrive.

From today, decide to be Rich and Happy, think of yourself as Rich and Happy, act as Rich and Happy people act, adopt Rich and Happy beliefs and slowly but surely you'll start to feel like you genuinely are Rich and Happy.

Rich and Happy News

Still wondering whether to get your own copy of How To Be Rich and Happy? Check out the latest review from Carl Harvey of Personal Development Planet.

Do you have a great idea for a Rich and Happy blog post? If so let me know (tim at how to be rich and happy dot com) because we are going to start accepting guest posts from the beginning of August.

And finally, until the end of July we are giving away  free copies of How To Be Rich and Happy. If you want one and you genuinely cannot afford to buy one, click the link and read more.

So you start to rummage around in the seat pockets in front of you looking for some interesting reading matter to fill some time. Fortunately for you, it’s your lucky day, because some muppet inadvertently left a book behind in their haste to disembark the previous flight.

You look at the deep red cover and the rather provocative title of ‘How To Be Rich and Happy' and maybe even have a chuckle to yourself. “Yeh, that’s be nice you think, but what’s the odds of a book delivering on that promise”

You then laugh out loud thinking about the poor sucker that coughed up $25 for a book about being rich and happy and then left the thing on a plane before they had chance to put it into practice!

You’re still smiling and shaking your head when you open the book to realize it wasn’t a mistake after all. Inside the front cover there’s a handwritten note from the previous owner saying:

“If you find this book, the it is meant for you. When it changes your life, like it did mine, please pass it on” - GM Baker 7/01/10

Now what would you think? Would you be more inclined to read the book, or would you still scoff?

I got tagged on Facebook last week. In and of itself that’s not very remarkable, until that is I tell you I’ve never met the person that tagged me and to the best of my knowledge she has no photos of me.

I tend to ignore 90% of the Facebook communications I get, but this one definitely piqued my interest and I obediently clicked on the link that took me to the tagged photograph that you now see in this post.

I cannot begin to tell you how pumped I was reading the note and and what a brilliant idea I think it is, it really made my day. What if everybody that bought the book did something similar and we started a real grass roots movement, wouldn’t that be something?

Paying somebody’s bridge toll or parking fee for them is a cool way of paying it forward, but not as cool as giving somebody something tangible to positively effect their life, right? With that in mind and if you decide to do something similar, please let us know so we can blog about it and tell others.

GM Baker (Twitter link) is currently undertaking a huge project of her own on her path to being the worlds most famous adventurer.

She’s embodies so much of the Rich and Happy spirit and formula because she's not listening to people that tell her she's being unrealistic, or that she should be settling down with a nice cubicle job and looking after her kids (they are going with her by the way). After all that would be ignoring her values, her calling and denying her authentic self, which incidentally, is not something Rich and Happy people do.

A day or so after this I got an e-mail from James the mastermind behind Men With Pens, the Canadian-based web design and copywriting site that has in excess of 20,000 subscribers. James read the book cover to cover over the previous weekend and really loved it? How much did he love it? Enough that he was willing to offer a free advertising spot on his site, normally worth $199, so that we could promote the book to his loyal readers!

So today I wanted to thank GM and James for paying it forward and allowing us to do the same!

This past week my wife had to change her dental appointment.  She had already canceled once, and so she asked me if I needed the slot.  I did.  I had been planning to schedule one for months, and just didn’t make it happen.

When I walked in I was met by the hygienist who would be cleaning my teeth.  I’d never met her before, so we were engaging in some get to know you banter.  She asked me what I did for a living. I asked her the same thing, which made her laugh.

When I told her I was an author, and that I traveled a lot speaking to audiences, she expressed how much she really wanted to travel.  This is a dangerous admission around me.

After backpacking around the world in 2002, and many shorter, 4-6 week length backpacking adventures since, my life has been forever positively changed by getting out there and seeing the world.  So when someone says they really want to do that, it’s hard to shut me up.

In between the scraping, water spraying, open wider, and the rest of the teeth cleaning process we managed to have a life conversation about what she really wanted.  In other words, what did Rich and Happy look like for her.

Her answer was pretty straight forward.  She wants freedom, and she wants to travel.  It was also very clear that she was suffering from Mad How disease.  “I’d go but I don’t know how to get started...  How do you speak with people when you don’t know their language...  How can a single woman travel alone...”

Those are all items worth figuring out, but you don’t do it by asking how.  You look for someone who has already done it, and JUST ASK THEM.

We don’t need to figure all of life’s challenges out on our own.  Just ask people who have done, seen, or experienced them already.  They already know the answer.

In addition to Mad How disease, she was also incredibly unaware of the great big assets she had at her disposal.  For those of you who already read the How to be Rich and Happy book, this is straight from the chapter “You have no but, you’ve got a great big asset.”

For example.  She has almost no obligations holding her back.  No debt, no kids, no husband or significant other.  She does have a dog, but when I asked her, she said her mom would probably take her.

Your Mom!  You have a mom close by?  Even better.  Now you have someone who can help out if any little things pop up during your trip.  Yet another great big asset.

She also mentioned she owns a 4 bedroom house free and clear.  Which she said she would have to wait to sell before she could go.  Wait a minute.  FREE AND CLEAR.  Forget selling it.  Rent it out.  That right there will pay for your travels.  Heck you will probably make money while you’re traveling.  Why would you sell it?

She’s also in an amazing position with her job.  As a hygienist, she has a skill that can plug and play.  Dentists are always looking for good hygienists.  Existing one’s move out of town, take leave because of kids... She could leave for six months to a year and pick right back up when she got back.

That is a huge asset.

So I gave her the whole low down on getting started, where to go, books to read, etc.  And I could see she was getting excited not only with the idea of it all, but with the fact that this could be her reality.

As I was paying my bill, I told her to have an amazing trip and that I didn’t expect to see her the next time I came in because she would be out there traveling the world.  And she replied...”I hope so.”

And there it was.  The fears, the potential unknowns, the potentially overpowering realization that what she wanted could be hers...all brought to a head in one phrase.

I hope so.

I looked her in the eye and smiled.  Then I told her a piece of the Rich and Happy formula that took me years to learn.

"It has nothing to do with hope, my friend.  It’s about choice, and action."

Her future is entirely in her hands.  She is loaded with great big assets to help her realize the Rich and Happy life she wants.  But all of that will be wasted if she fails to draw the proverbial line in the sand and say, “This is my future.”  And then take the steps to make it true.

Your map appears to have been one that Columbus decided was out of date, your compass really didn’t like being left in your bag with your trusty magnet and the pesky birds appear to have eaten all your bread crumbs that would have guided you back from whence you came.

You’re probably feeling a bit panicky, but wait a moment, isn’t that a clearing up ahead? Yes, yes, it is, there’s a clearing that will hopefully allow you at least a sight of the sun to get your bearings if nothing else.

As you approach the first rays of sunlight you have seen in hours you can see the path in front of you splits into two. At this point you suddenly recall the conversation with the wiry, tousled, one-toothed check out clerk that tried to sell you a map at the gas station the previous evening.

In between cackling, chugging on a bottle of some suspicious looking liquid and eyeing you up and down mockingly  you remember him mentioning this very clearing, but what exactly was it he said?

It was something about the Fork of Indecision, but you disregarded it as the ramblings of an old loon trying to scare the tourists into buying maps and provisions. Damn, you now wish you’d actually bought the map if not the tins of Spam that looked older than you.

For the next 20 minutes you stand at the clearing trying in vain to recall exactly what it was the old guy had said.  You know he said that one route meant certain death, but surely he wasn’t being serious? You certainly laughed it off at the time, but you aren’t laughing now.

What are you going to do?

My guess is you wont stand there until you starve to death. Even if one path really does lead to certain death, standing in one place for the next week does the exact same job, so at least moving in one direction will increase your chances of living to 50%. Not great odds admittedly, but better than the alternative.

Millions of people every day land up at their own personal fork of indecision and many of them stay there staring at the alternatives, sometimes for decades, and never make their mind up.

Actually you can strike that last comment off the record, because they are making a decision. They are making the decision that they will allow other people, circumstances and events to make their important decisions for them.

Rich and Happy people are brilliant decisions makers, but there is a secret to their skill that a lot of people don’t know about, and it’s this:

They are good at it because the practice it and they don’t expect to get it right every time!

If you have a fear of something there are basically two options open to you. The first method is to face up to it knowing that it’s only a fear, a projection in your mind. The second option is to do your utmost to avoid whatever it is for the rest of your life.

Amazingly, most people take the latter option. If they have a fear of flying they don’t fly, if they have a fear of public speaking they don’t volunteer to speak and if they get uncomfortable making decisions, they don’t decide.

Imagine two friends who are complete novices at the game decide to take up golf. Both are male, both 40 years old and both of a similar build. Neither play any other sports and have never considered themselves as sporty types.

One of the guys decides he’s going to hit 500 practice range balls every day before spending an hour on the putting green. The other thinks he’ll look like an idiot hacking the ball all over the range and goes home for a lie down.

A week later both guys meet on the tee for their first round together. Who do you think will win?

Making decisions is a skill just like playing golf and the more you do it the better you get at it and the easier it becomes. Rich and Happy people get this and therefore make decisions quickly and without second guessing themselves or beating themselves up when they get it wrong.

And yes I do mean ‘when’ because everybody screws up and get’s it wrong.

The next time you have a decision to make and you can’t make your mind up, just guess. Seriously, I know that goes against the grain for many people that like to weigh the odds, study the facts and come to well-informed decisions, but who cares?

The point isn’t to get it right every time because that is an impossibility, the point it to just do it and get comfortable with taking back control of your life.

Note: John has finally joined me on Twitter so if you want to follow him you can do so by clicking here.