It’s OK to Pay for Sex & Smoke Weed, Just Don’t Be An Adventurer

One of the pieces of the Rich and Happy formula is to ignore most people. So what do you do when they won’t let you ignore them?

An interesting case has come up recently that illustrates this. It involves a thirteen year old girl who wants to sail around the world. I’ll give you the particulars and then some thoughts on how she, and you if you face something equally ridiculous, can get beyond it.

The young lady’s name is Laura Dekker. She has been taken into court custody in the Netherlands to prevent her from attempting to sail solo around the world.

Yes, God forbid we should want our young people to aspire to anything greater than playing video games, reading fashion magazines and hanging out at the mall.

Laura, who was born and spent the early years of her life on a yacht during her parents' own round-the-world trip, shared with media that the motivation behind her sailing dream is to “learn about the world and to live freely.”

Oh, bad, bad, Laura. Get back to the mall and the fashion magazines.

Learn about the world? Live freely? Who do you think you are? Why those kind of thoughts will enable you to be energetic, fulfilled, Rich and Happy.

Apparently this is not Ms. Dekker’s first brush with authorities. At the age of six she had mastered small sailing boats and was going solo across large lakes in the Netherlands.

By the time she was ten, she was sailing on her own aboard a 21 foot sailing boat. Despite lock operators giving her a hard time because she was a young girl in charge of a boat on her own, by the next summer she was sailing solo out in the Wadden Sea.

It was about that time when she first shared her dream of becoming the youngest person to ever sail around the world.

A lofty and impressive goal. One that her supportive, albeit skeptical, father supported. He made sure she took intensive navigation lessons, then safety training. Then he told her she would have to sail solo from the Netherlands to England and back, to show she was serious and could handle things on her own.

According to Mr. Dekker, when he told her that he was thinking, “So long on the open sea with wind, rain and waves - that will soon end any ideas of sailing the world.”

Except that it didn’t. Because as is the case with all people who are living a Rich and Happy life- getting a taste of what you love does not discourage you from getting more, it inspires you to even greater heights.

Laura made it to England. Where, get this- “British authorities judged it too dangerous for a 13-year-old to be at sea alone... They telephoned Mr Dekker and asked him to accompany his daughter on the trip home. When Mr Dekker refused, the English authorities in Lowestoft placed Miss Dekker in a children's home.”

Was she stealing things? Causing problems? Being a bad role model? Had there been problems during her voyage, expenses to governments because of her activities? No, she was just busily and SUCCESSFULLY positioning herself to be ready to do something no-one had ever done at her age. Bad Laura, bad Laura.

With his daughter placed in a children’s home for her naughty behavior, Mr. Dekker traveled to the UK to get her. He then allowed her to sail back on her own. Nicely done Mr. Decker.

I mean, bad Mr. Dekker. How dare you support your children’s dreams. Tell her to go the mall with friends, and hang out aimlessly for hours.

The British police were no doubt pissed at Mr. Dekker and Laura’s obvious refusal to live a “normal life,” and so they contacted social services in the Netherlands.

That’s when the courts stepped in and decided Mr. Dekker must be handling his role as a father poorly. I mean, his daughter was self-reliant, confident, incredibly skilled, well trained, driven, accomplishing amazing things well ahead of other children her age... Clearly those are signs something must be wrong.

So Laura was taken into court custody. She is allowed to live at home, but “her parents will not have the right to make decisions on her behalf for two months, at which time the case will be reviewed.”

It’s hard for me to even know where to begin with this in terms of how ludicrous I feel the situation is. This is all taking place in a country where you can smoke pot legally, prostitution is both legal and flaunted as a tourist attraction, and the history and financial well being of the country is linked to their prowess as sailers of the oceans (Dutch East Indies Company ringing any bells??)

Yet here we are, with officials deeming it inappropriate for a master sailor who just happens to be thirteen, to go out and sail.

Let me quickly finish my rant, and then I’ll become more productive and provide some suggestions for Laura and you, if you encounter something similar.

Back to the rant.

When did we as a human race stop celebrating the adventurous spirit and start trying to squash it?

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was composing music at age five and wrote his first symphony at age 8. If he lived today, would “experts” be telling his parents to give him some toys to play with, and take away his instruments?

Fu Mingxia won her first world champion title in 1991 at the World Swimming Championships. She was 12. That made her the youngest world champion ever in any sport. At the 1992 Summer Olympics she became China's youngest Olympic champion ever when she won the 10-meter platform gold at the age of 13.

Louis Crane entered the University of Chicago and began taking graduate-level mathematics courses at 14 years old. He is now a professor at Kansas State University and a quantum-gravity researcher.

Sho Yano started college at nine years old and graduated summa cum laude at 12 from Loyola University in Chicago. By 15 years old, he attended the Pritzker School of Medicine.

At the age of nine, Jackie Cooper became the youngest nominee for the best actor Oscar.

Those people, and I would argue Laura Dekker as well, are prodigies. They are the ones who re-define what is possible, in no small part because they have found something they are so intensely passionate about, that they love spending their time on it. The more time they spend, the better they get, to the point where they know more and can do more, at a young age, than most people can ever do.

THIS IS A CAUSE FOR CELEBRATION, NOT OPPRESSION!

There are thirteen year-olds all over the world, who are getting pregnant, which not only involves their life, but the life of a baby. I haven’t seen any courts taking away parental rights from the parents of those kids.

Because of where she was born, Laura has citizenship in New Zealand as well. She considered the option of just leaving her current home and setting sail from New Zealand. However, it looks like that is a no-go option as well, as she could be treated the same way she is being treated in the Netherlands.

The deputy chief executive of the New Zealand Child, Youth and Family agency, Ray Smith, said “He did not think it was sensible for a 13-year-old to sail solo around the world. I think most people would share that view,” he told the New Zealand Herald.

Wow, way to go Ray. Very open minded of you. Oh, by the way, “most people” is a lousy proxy when it comes to doing something no-one has ever accomplished before. I’m sure “most people” didn’t think it was sensible for the Wright Brothers to try and fly either.

I had a teacher in college who kept a brilliant quote on his door. I saw it all semester while I was waiting for class, and it is perfect for this moment (apparently that professor had a ton of foresight, knowing it would only take me two decades to re-quote it).

“You don’t raise the skill of the runner by lowering the hurdles.”

And you certainly don’t raise the potential of the human race, or inspire future generations of kids, by dumbing things down to what “most people” believe or do.

Ok, enough ranting. I love the Netherlands by the way. Unlike what is evidenced in this court ruling, I have found the Dutch people to be incredibly free spirited, full of life, and adventurous. My guess is that this issue is a hotly discussed one. I’m leaving for the Netherlands in about three hours, so I’ll find out.

So how does Laura deal with her situation as she is trying to live a Rich and Happy life doing what she wants when she wants?

For this particular situation, she has a couple of options. For right now, I’d recommend using another piece of the formula- You Have no But, You’ve Got a Great Big Asset.

It would be easy for Laura to say “I wanted to sail around the world, BUT they just wouldn’t let me.” That won’t get her anywhere. However, she can turn this entire situation into a Great Big Asset.

The fact that her situation has generated so much publicity puts her in an amazing position to get massive sponsorship for when she can attempt her trip. She should be able to get the boat, all her equipment, and all other expenses paid for by someone else.

Having become newsworthy, her story is now also great material for a book. Had she been able to attempt her trip when she wanted to, regardless of the outcome the result would not have been as newsworthy as it is now. Newsworthy gets book deals and sells lots of copies, and in this case, because her story is so inspirational, the net result of the court’s efforts will be EVEN MORE PEOPLE will end up reading her book and being inspired.

I’m sure that’s what they had in mind.

Not hardly. But it’s a nice potential end-result.

This current situation also positions Laura well to speak about her experiences. She now has supporters around the world who via the Internet have read about her challenges. What she is facing could easily become a life-time worth of speaking engagements if she wants them.

In my mind there is also an issue of gender bias here. The current record for sailing around the world is held by a sixteen year old young man. I have a hunch that there would be a lot less fervor about Laura if her name were Bob. For some reason, a young woman out sailing the world is too dangerous, but when it’s “Bob,” he’s touted as an adventurer.

So if I was Laura, I’d take this opportunity to generate as much publicity as I could, and use that to turn sailing around the world into a zone three experience versus a zone one experience. (If you have no idea what that means, re-read the section of the Rich and Happy manual on the Rich and Happy matrix). That way not only is she doing whatever she wants, she’s also earning money in the process, which can then be spent doing other things she wants.

This will probably work best for her if she partners with others. A writer for the book, maybe some people to help her secure sponsorships, a good PR person... I have no doubt she could do all this on her own, it’s more a question of what does she WANT to be spending her time on. From what I’ve read, the answer to that is sailing, or preparing in other ways for her adventure, which means in order to log the maximum Rich and Happy minutes, her best bet is to partner for those other things.

I don’t know Laura personally, but I’m going to ask around when I hit the Netherlands and see if I can meet her. If not, I’m going to find a way to wish her good luck and tell her I admire the heck out of her.

I’ll let you know what happens.

John