I want to tell you about a process today so powerful, so cunning, so life changing and yet so easy to implement, that if it doesn’t blow your mind, you don’t understand it. Not only that, but it’s free and is guaranteed to work every single time, if that is, you allow it to.
It’s a process that we speak of in some detail in How To Be Rich and Happy and it is one that in my experience, is used by all Rich and Happy people even if only unconsciously.
Think of your favorite picture in your house for a moment. Obviously I have no idea what it looks like or why you like it, but that’s not important anyway.
What I do know, is that I can change your perception of that picture without changing the picture itself. Yep, that’s what I said, I can move you from loving it to recoiling in disgust when you see it, without altering a thing about it.
Now before you get excited thinking I’m about to reveal I’m a magician and all your worst fears about my state of mind are confirmed, it’s not quite like that.
Imagine I snuck into your house in the dead of night and removed the frame from the said picture. In it’s place I put the most hideous ugly frame that have ever stained the face of this earth. It’s the kind of frame that has children bursting into tears, adults feeling nauseous and small farmyard animals scurrying for cover in fear. Yes, it really is that ugly.
What do you think of your lovely picture now?
Not so great eh? I’ve really ruined it for you haven’t I? Yet it’s still the same picture in all its former glory, I’ve just re-framed it for you.
If you work in, or are familiar with sales, you will have heard of objection handling. I also imagine if you have ever read anything about politics or following the news that you also have heard of ‘spinning’ a story.
With objection handling all the sales person is (usually) doing is representing the same information, but in a more favorable light.
So the goods being late could be,
“Yes Mr Customer, that’s because we were taking extra special care with your order to ensure everything is absolutely perfect”
Or you’re more expensive than your major competitor.
“That’s true and it is because we use the finest quality components and the best engineers to produce a product that will last a life time”
It’s the same in politics. I’m sure you have seen two politicians deliver the exact same information with one say it’s great for the country whilst the other declaring it’s the death knell for all civilization.
How can that be, after all facts are facts, right?
Well yes and no. Think back to the picture. The information (in this case the picture itself) has not changed, but the way you view it has. The fact is the picture is still there, but you can no longer look at it without wanting to give me a damn good thrashing, and rightly so.
All of the above examples are the same, they are all reframing and it is possibly THE most powerful Rich and Happy tool you can learn.
Reframing is simply taking a negative event and looking for the positive aspects of it. It is NOT lying to yourself, it’s NOT twisting facts and it’s NOT being unrealistic.
Being unrealistic is actually refusing to see any good in a situation, even though adopting that approach makes you feel crap.
The sad thing is, most (poor and unhappy) people do see reframing as being unrealistic and prefer to hold on to looking at the world in exactly the same way as they have always done, weird huh?
To them losing a job is a catastrophe not an exciting opportunity to find a better one.
A traffic jam ruins their day rather than gives them a chance to chill and listen to their favorite music or self development program.
An argument means their marriage is a sham rather than the time to open up honest lines of communication.
A news story about a child abduction is depressing rather than being a chance to say enough is enough with local news.
I honestly could go on and on, and I usually do, but today I’ll spare you because I like you.
If you want to adopt a Rich and Happy mindset and presuming you don’t already have that, you have to change the way you look at things. It really is that simple and if you’re not prepared to do that, then it’s highly unlikely you’ll ever become Rich and Happy.
Reframing takes practice, but it is a skill anybody can learn, if that is, they can be bothered.
Can you be bothered?
By way of proving my point, I’m happy to help you reframe anything negative in your current life if you leave me a note in the comments.
This is totally off-topic, but I liken the picture frame idea to that design. You can have the most awesome product or website, but if your design is ugly, it throws it all off.
Pretty sure that’s not what you are talking about, but it’s still a good example of how the perception of something changes the value of it.
I totally get what you mean about reframing though. The past few years I’ve been making the conscious effort to be more positive. It’s probably not apparent, but I spent all the years before that in a pretty negative and pessimistic mindset.
I have to remember to think about things in a positive way, but I will admit that it’s probably the best thing I ever did in my life. Besides meeting my hubby, that is! lol
Can’t think of anything I would ask to reframe at the moment. Not that there isn’t anything, just going blank. May have to come back.
Listen to your favourite self development program in the car? That gave me an idea about your goal to get the HTBRH into the hands of a million people…
Make an audio version of it. For starters, it is easier to distribute. But there are other better reasons. Paper books are not accessible. The audio version would allow you to reach a whole extra section of society that are visually impaired but who also deserve to be Rich and Happy and would benefit from your program.
It’s a positive and legitimate way to reach your goal and reach more people.
@ Naomi – Delighted to hear you have nothing to reframe, that’s brilliant! It sounds like we were similar, to be honest I used to be a really miserable bastard! It took some hard work to change and it’s the reason why I know anybody can change if they want to badly enough.
@ Mark – Good idea matey and it is definitely a consideration.
“By way of proving my point, I’m happy to help you reframe anything negative in your current life if you leave me a note in the comments.” Please.
I am unable to concentrate on what I don’t like but absolutely have to do. I can’t possibly see how putting a positive spin on that would help anything?
@ Tom – Sorry I missed this comment bud, it got dropped in the spam filter for some bizarre reason. Not totally sure what you mean, but if you expand I’m happy to see if I can explain more fully.
Tim – Here’s your challenge.
I’m a 61 year old male who developed a condition of agoraphobia (the kind where crowds and unfamiliar situations bring on panic attacks) a few years ago.
I have been unable to work since. I am on meds and see a therapist and have improved, but some days are still a battle.
My wife, who during this time has helped and supported me, decided late last year that she needed to move into the city (we’ve lived in a semi-rural area outside the metropolitan part). I tried’ but was unable, to go with her due to the anxiety and started becoming very depressed. We still love each other, but living together now is impossible. I’ve kept the home but, other than a small pension that I inherited, I have no income and many bills. I’m working with a case manager through the health clinic and will be recieving some social services, so I wont starve. Life is pretty much hand-to-moth right now.
I have started and given up on several blogs. And am now concidering a new one, though I know that it wont be an instant money maker, if I can hold on long enough it might support me.
I have had the ah-ha moments of deciding that my life would change, but those have eluded me in this whole situation.
If you can help reframe any of this it will be GREATLY appreciated. And if…when I start my new blog I will definitely promote your book.
Thank you.
@ D.R. I’ll be back to you shortly. If you don’t hear from me in 48 hours hassle me!
@ D.R. P.S. Massive apologies for taking so long to reply, I missed your response it was in our spam filter.
I am totally living in a pool of sadness and negativity. I think it started when I was laid off 2 years ago. Since then, I haven’t been able to find a job that makes me feel a sense of accomplishment. The job I currently hold is totally wrong for me. I’m 44 years old and don’t feel any sense of accomplishment; personally or professionally.
Hello Barb, I see this as no problem, but as the way Tim describes it as a picture frame. Even though you hate your job the energy you our sending out is bad and only bad things happen when we give out negative energy. Life is like a mirror everything that is happening in your life is a reflection of who you are. try being the best you can be at your job, always smiling being happy. If you have to fake it for a couple of months then do so, but eventualy it will become a habit and then other co workers including your boss will notice. You will see things will change quite quickly. I never heard anyone say ” oh look at that happy person who does she think she is and oh my god she is just working to hard and giving it her best”. I promise Barb the universe is not against you; we are not here to fail and suffer miserably. Good luck Barb I know you are the best and will eventually have the best.
@ Barb – you got the job, right? That in and of itself is an accomplishment whether you like the job or not. Do you have kids or a partner? If so they are accomplishments too.
@ Shane – Thanks a lot you make some great points.